The Stoic differences- just because of the building structures!
I live in one of the IT hubs in the country and I moved here in the year 2010. Like any other person new to this place, I was hunting for Apartments/flats in the place and managed to find one. My parents and me are so used to living in our house back at Coimbatore, where neighbors are treated as extended family! Whatever is the occasion, the good or bad times, our neighbors are always there. Hence it was much of a filmy heavy hearted shift from Coimbatore to Bengaluru. What was in store for us was a huge surprise. We are used to spending time with our neighbors and all we saw here was closed doors 24/7. We did not know who were/are our neighbors for almost 4 months!
We were the first in our apartment to break this culture of 'I live/love my 4 walls boundary'. My dad is a very social person, so he would strike a conversation when he goes to the parking lot, to the Super store next by, to any person moving on two legs and we were surprised how they were as well longing for people to talk to. Over the period, though not like our neighbors back at Cbe, we did have a good bonding with 4 families. All occasions were marked with a food fiesta shared with the neighbors who were more than happy to include us in all of their occasions. This continued for a period of 4 long years with happy bonding's.
We were pushed to shift to another place because of too many factors and my hunt this time ended in a independent house. Surprisingly the 4 families whom we were close to by then, were not ready to let us leave the place and the house owner who was overwhelmed with the fact that my dad was taking care of half the building maintenance was not so happy in our decision to vacate. It was more like an employee putting down the papers and we trying to retain the person (sorry, couldn't help the HR poking nose here!)
We finally moved to this place and its been a week since we moved here. This street is full of independent houses in contrast to my earlier locality of Apartments. The day we reached here I was quite surprised when the uncle opposite came over and asked us how things are, where are we from. Day two while I was just going behind the house the Aunty opposite called me, spoke to me for an hour! And this continued over the week and by then we knew all our neighbors. There was a guy opposite who bought a new bike and he came over to our place with sweets! Oh my!! We have missed all this for 4 long years. Such happy sharing and talking. I realized we were somewhere used to the 'apartment way of living' in the 4 years and people here found us a little out of the community for the initial few days! And this was not because we moved to a new locality or something, I am talking about streets which is only a km away!
Just the structure of building, what amazing difference! People back at the apartments don't/never trust each other and in contrast people at independent houses are more dependent each other. Why such stoic difference? Well, the fact- you do not have a Security system at houses so you only have an option to call your neighbors for help. You see your neighbors the minute you step outside which you have to do most of the time unlike in apartments and yes, you have to put on a smile especially if its 6 am and if you are out for the 'kolam tradition' which is NO at apartments. If the power fails, you do not have the UPS back up but go check with the neighbor if they have power issues as well (like any Indian families!) and call the EB. And you strike a conversation with them until the power is back. If your morning paper is late, well, you can see the neighbour uncle as well waiting for "Hindu" and discuss about the previous nights match. If you are lucky you can get invited for a nice filter coffee..This is life that you actually live!
Vive!!
ME MYSELF :)
We were the first in our apartment to break this culture of 'I live/love my 4 walls boundary'. My dad is a very social person, so he would strike a conversation when he goes to the parking lot, to the Super store next by, to any person moving on two legs and we were surprised how they were as well longing for people to talk to. Over the period, though not like our neighbors back at Cbe, we did have a good bonding with 4 families. All occasions were marked with a food fiesta shared with the neighbors who were more than happy to include us in all of their occasions. This continued for a period of 4 long years with happy bonding's.
We were pushed to shift to another place because of too many factors and my hunt this time ended in a independent house. Surprisingly the 4 families whom we were close to by then, were not ready to let us leave the place and the house owner who was overwhelmed with the fact that my dad was taking care of half the building maintenance was not so happy in our decision to vacate. It was more like an employee putting down the papers and we trying to retain the person (sorry, couldn't help the HR poking nose here!)
We finally moved to this place and its been a week since we moved here. This street is full of independent houses in contrast to my earlier locality of Apartments. The day we reached here I was quite surprised when the uncle opposite came over and asked us how things are, where are we from. Day two while I was just going behind the house the Aunty opposite called me, spoke to me for an hour! And this continued over the week and by then we knew all our neighbors. There was a guy opposite who bought a new bike and he came over to our place with sweets! Oh my!! We have missed all this for 4 long years. Such happy sharing and talking. I realized we were somewhere used to the 'apartment way of living' in the 4 years and people here found us a little out of the community for the initial few days! And this was not because we moved to a new locality or something, I am talking about streets which is only a km away!
Just the structure of building, what amazing difference! People back at the apartments don't/never trust each other and in contrast people at independent houses are more dependent each other. Why such stoic difference? Well, the fact- you do not have a Security system at houses so you only have an option to call your neighbors for help. You see your neighbors the minute you step outside which you have to do most of the time unlike in apartments and yes, you have to put on a smile especially if its 6 am and if you are out for the 'kolam tradition' which is NO at apartments. If the power fails, you do not have the UPS back up but go check with the neighbor if they have power issues as well (like any Indian families!) and call the EB. And you strike a conversation with them until the power is back. If your morning paper is late, well, you can see the neighbour uncle as well waiting for "Hindu" and discuss about the previous nights match. If you are lucky you can get invited for a nice filter coffee..This is life that you actually live!
Vive!!
ME MYSELF :)
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