Health is Wealth

 After about a year post delivery, I finally started shedding all the weight I gained through Pregnancy and was very much determined to get back to my fitness levels like before. I successfully managed to lose all those extra pounds and slowly started hitting the gym. Unfortunately, the covid bug didn't spare me and I was down end of January. However, it was my spirits that kept me high and I was out of it in a week.  The post Covid weakness was for real in my case especially with a little one who was onto notorious night feeds every 3 hours! I am a very light sleeper and I really forgot the last time I slept straight for 7 hours. We are all human beings after all. It took another major jolt for me to give my body and mind the rest it needed. 

One fine morning, I woke up and tried brushing my tooth only to fail miserably with the left side of my face completely dropping and not responding. I thought I was having a stroke and immediately tried raising my hands, sticking my tongue out, speaking words- all seemed okay and hence I ruled out stroke. Rushed to the hospital only to be told it was a facial nerve paralysis- Bell's Palsy. Interestingly, doctor had no idea why this happened. I ended up meeting three different doctors and all three had the same opinion to share- it could happen to anyone, there is no reason and in my case it was stage 4 of Bell's palsy and hence to wait it out for 6-8 weeks time while taking meds and doing some physiotherapy. It is one thing to be told you have a sickness and it is a totally different thing when doctor's tell you there is no reason and no immediate solution. I was vaguely reminded of the Tamil comedy movie 'Naduvula Konjam Pakkatha Kanom'.  The hero has a temporary memory loss the day before his marriage after being hit by a tennis ball.

For those who know me well, I am someone who cannot stop laughing and is a chatter box. At every instance through my life, when things went southwards, my best way of cheering myself was forcing a smile on my face and telling things are alright. Now imagine being not able to smile, not able to drink water or eat without holding one side of your face. I am not going to deny- this hit my confidence to an all time low. As a added bonus, I was also diagnosed with a Pinna peritochondritis- which needed a local procedure too. So there I was, with a not so swag head band and a dead face. I had to forcefully and abruptly stop breastfeeding my little one too with the medication and procedure. Needless to say, this was another emotional impact and I am more than thankful to my great support system in the form of my in laws at home. 

I am in the third week since my diagnosis and some parts of the face are now finally responding with the physiotherapy. I can drink water and eat without much hiccups but the rest including my trademark smile and talks are work in progress. It is just two months since I changed jobs too and thankfully, the whole team is more than supportive and I took two weeks off from work too. Unfortunately, that did not help me either since Doctor's kept telling me to wait it out patiently. One thing I refrain doing is reading too much about anything on Google and I have done the same now too. My initial one week of diagnosis I asked 'Why me' a lot of times. The daily trips to hospital weren't a great mood lifter and going through electric stimulation unable to speak freely was a killer. Eventually, after a week- my hospital trips became the only time I started stepping out. I told my doctor, I am not at my best self. My doctor just looked at me and asked 'Why are you doing this to yourself? You are going to wear a mask anyways- why don't you wear funky sunglasses too and just go out and be as usual? Do you want to waste 6 weeks of your life for nothing? " Knowing only too well that this may take time I did wonder if it makes sense to not do things that I always do. 

I had to put myself together and the first thing I did was resume back to work. I am not a zoom video averse person, and as usual I switched on my video for the team calls. It definitely did not go the way I wanted to, but I had to start somewhere. What this whole episode taught me was this

- You can never predict what Life has in store for you. Whatever happens, it is necessary to keep your shit together to sail through

- You need a support system to cheer you on when things go southwards. Doesn't matter who- it could be your parents, friends, partner or even the janitor at the hospital. 

- Most important- it is okay to be vulnerable! No one is going to judge you if during such times you aren't at your best. We are not robots.

I am truly blessed to be surrounded with the best of friends & family who took the pain of finding more about what am going through and eventually making me understand that yes we got to wait it out but also keeping my spirits high. 

I have always wanted to raise one eyebrows which I failed miserably in the past and now I have a lot of self shot videos of them- thanks to the frozen one side of the face 😂

Here is hoping to hit that Gym sooner!

Cheers! 

Me Myself :)